Extrication
by kammy147
Summary: Earl Ciel Phantomhive has reached the age of seventeen, his heart ached for affections that he mistook as guilty feelings for not delivering his parent's revenge. Follows manga storyline. Need a beta reader. PM me if interested.
1. Chapter 1

**Extrication**

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**-Chapter I-**

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**I**t had been seven years since the Earl Phantomhive restored his honor and his manor house to its original state before the horrible events that befell his family and himself. Or to put it in terms that had been concealed in secrecy all these years; the Earl had sold his soul to the Devil for seven years for return of a faithful butler that would help him to deliver his retribution to those who had stripped him of his dignity and pride. Seven years had passed, and the terms of the contract between the said devil and himself was still unfulfilled. Sometimes the Earl wondered, during his idle times between lessons and teatime, which often allowed him freedom from his servants' relentless bustling for deep reflections, whether the Devil was trying at all. 'No doubt he is trying,' he told himself. 'Why else would he so faithfully stay by my side for all these years, (and put up with all those unreasonable orders that I so often gave as a child, too.)' At this thought, the earl blushed, as recollections of one's childhood often bring embarrassment upon its owner.

At the age of seventeen, Earl Ciel Phantomhive was a young man of calm composure and reserved countenance; though could be somewhat engaging among company, his sarcastic humor often prevented others from seeking conversations with him. People were either afraid of him or worshipped him because of his wealth and power. His character was universally decided to be cold and peculiar by most of his acquaintances, his lack of smiles only confirmed this to be true. Those who were sympathetic towards the Earl attributed his strange disposition to the death of his dear aunt, Madame Red, which happened only two years after that of his parents. Most people were shocked to know that the Earl had been always without guardianship after the death of his parents, for in such decisive years in a child's life, development in education and character must be carefully monitored. Some would say that the Earl was such an exceptionally clever child that guardianship was not entirely necessary; evidently, the Earl had been able to establish and manage his own company, and take care of the Queen's business in the underworld so well too as to earn so much regard from Her Majesty; all this, only at the age of twelve! His accomplishments were often praised by those who heard them, accompanied by an admiration of his fine tall person*, fair complexion, and his deep blue eye (sad as it was, there was only one of them visable) that does so much credit to this elegant picture of what a young man of noble blood ought to be. There was something about the earl's eyes, or eye, as one of them was always covered by the eye patch, the one that was not seemed to convey a hint of undiscernible sadness, or self-reproach perhaps; for it always threw those who knew of his misery into a sea of oblivion. Although the Earl preferred the solitude of his own library or study to the company of a hunting party and fox hounds (so unlike most young men of his age), this unique quality combined with his intelligence rather incited sympathy and admiration from those who equally admired his fine eye.

Among one of those most ardent of admirers was the Earl's fiancée, Lady Elizabeth Middleford, whom the Earl, though not equally fond of as she was of him, cherished as one of the few people left in this God-foresakened world who he truly cared about. Therefore, Ciel often felt sorry for being betrothed to her for he knew his duties to his parents, nay, he would not blame it on his kind, deceased parents, it was all his own doing, his choice to summon the Devil, and to seal the contract without hesitation too! But had he not made that choice to allow himself to live longer, had he accepted Death's hand, he would not have lived all these seven years, under the company of his friends. These seven years, though not always happy, as most of its early years were plagued by thoughts of vengeance and sorrows; was sufficient to let him rejoice in life, or to pretend to be... Can one pretend to be happy? Is it possible that after all that had passed, and having known what the future prospect of his soul was too be, that he could still feel happiness? He had not forgotten the vengeance that he had vowed to deliver, no, he had not, for as long as he lives, he could not forget. Therefore the Earl loathed himself for ever having felt happy, for his young mind, though intelligent, was determined and stubborn.

During this painful reflection of mind in his library, the footman had received a note from the Middleford's servant, who was almost scared away by his peculiar appearance and the snake that hung around his neck. The servant awaited for an answer and therefore the butler was soon called for to bring the message to Lord Phantomhive. The butler obligingly took the note, then hurried upstairs, for he knew his master could be nowhere but the library at this time of the day, for he neither enjoyed the sight of anybody nor wished to bury himself among his paperwork in his study. The Earl first did not notice his butler's presence at the door and the other was quite upset to find his master with a vexed expression upon his handsome face, though wishing to enqire after his master's well being, Sebastian was determined to finish the business at hand first, employing the most soothing tone as not to startle his master, he thus addressed him,

"My lord, Lady Elizabeth had sent you a note, and the servant awaits for an answer." Pleased that his master was not at all startled, he handed the note over.

Ciel did not say a word, but only glanced at its content with the most melancholy of expressions and indifference. Sebastian was not surprised, for Lady Elizabeth, though one of the persons of whom the Earl had a regard for, her company was not always desired much, though in general, the Earl did not desire much company at all, except that of his butler. Although Sebastian did not read the note, he already knew that the note was sent for to notice his master of her coming over to dine tonight, for it was his seventeenth birthday. When Ciel had finished reading the note that was written with so much sweetness and affection that would have warmed any other lover's heart, he put it aside with much indifference, and taking up a pen, he started writing a reply for his love letter, trying as best as he could to sound genuine and cheerful, as he well knew that his fiancée so deserved to be so well treated by an equally affectionate lover that he could never be, so long as his heart was bound somewhere else.

Slowly dripping crimson wax on the envelop and sliding his signet off his slender finger, Ciel sighed and said to no one in particular, "It had been seven years indeed."

Sebastian wanted to say something to comfort his young master, but remembering the note, took it from the desk, and excused himself again.

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*I am imagining Ciel to be like 5'7" or something like that, never taller than Sebastian, who is 6'1"

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**A/N: Thank you for reading the whole passage! I am the type of person that needs encouragement, I am not very sure about this fic since it is written in another style, so please tell me how I am doing, I should be very grateful to any compliments and advices. Sorry for any OOCness.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Extrication**

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**-Chapter II-**

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**A**s Sebastian had expected, his master soon told him to prepare dinner for Lady Elizabeth, for she was to dine with him tonight in celebration of his seventeenth birthday. Not trusting the other servants to this important task, the butler took it upon himself to prepare every single minute detail, going so far as to forbidding the other staff to lay a foot in the kitchen. Though not specifically instructed to, Sebastian took the liberty to prepare all the dishes that his master was most found of, and crafted a most elegantly decorated and delicious birthday cake for his beloved master, the exact same one that he had made for his thirteenth birthday*. When all the preparations was over, the demon looked at his work with much self complacency, then went upstairs to await for the guest's arrival.

At a quarter before six, the Middleford's coach arrived. Lady Elizabeth greeted everyone she saw with genuine affections and followed Sebastian to the study, where Ciel was trying to finish some more paperwork before the arrival of his fiancée.

Upon seeing her lover, Elizabeth was overcame with joy, she wished him happy birthday with the most cheerful manners. She threw her arms around him and kissed him on the cheek most affectionately. With so much affection before him, Ciel wished he could return them with equal magnitude, but knew not how; he only accepted Elizabeth's warm greetings with an awkward air, torn between hatred for himself and love for his fiancée. Standing aside, his butler observed it all with an expression of ambivalence, for happy may this image seem to others, he knew his master was not truly happy at heart.

Dinner was soon served, for Lady Elizabeth complained that she was starving after the tiring journey. Ciel did not seem to take delight in any dish that Sebastian had so carefully prepared, in fact, the Earl didn't seem to take delight in anything at all (not even the chocolate coated birthday cake), often uttering words of agreement along with Elizabeth's account of everything, pretending to be happy yet tortured by his own wretched thoughts.

Lady Elizabeth Middleford had grown much in seven years, her exposure to high society had caused her to witness much ugliness of human nature, so against the principles that was introduced her by her fine parents, (for fine people they were, though noble blood ran in their veins, the trait of snobbish air was not at all breathed by those around them), therefore, Lady Elizabeth was determined to be nice to everybody. She was a young lady of principles, often engaging herself in charity work. Though her cheerful countanace had caused her to be much more talkative than her fiancé, she never gossips about others, and only talked of sensible things. Her mind had developed to be much more independent and all silliness from childhood was driven away by extensive reading, a habit that she picked up from her fiancé, for she wished to share topics that she could discuss with him. In appearance, she was now as handsome as her mother; in countenance, she was as agreeable as her father the Marquess Middleford, and as delightful as any young lady ought to be; in short, she was most desirable for any noblemen of her rank. Many young noblemen envied the earl of having so fine a woman picked as his future wife. The solace of Elizabeth was to please Ciel and be a good wife to him when they were married. Ciel was very aware of this, and the thought of causing her any distress pains him; breaking her heart was the last thing he wanted to do, and indeed it would be the last thing he ever does.

When dinner was over, Lady Elizabeth was to be sent home early, for she had to prepare to go to town for a charity event the following morning. When the coach was ready, Ciel bid her goodbye and helped her into the coach. Elizabeth kissed his cheek once more and wished him happy birthday again before the coach drove away. Ciel stood outside to see the coach drove away into darkness until the headlights could be seen no more. After a few moments of silence, Ciel still remained on the doorsteps, spellbound by another reverie, it was not until Sebastian urged him to retreat from the cold (for fear of triggering his asthma) did Ciel feebly stepped inside.

Ciel, sitting in his armchair by the fireplace, felt all the fatigue crushing his every nerve. He longed for the comfort of his bed, but knew that he would not be able to sleep with so much on his mind. Sipping from his cup of another delicate brew of his butler's, he opened up a book and started reading. Edgar Allen Poe was by no means his favorite author, but he enjoyed the dark tales of human nature; though it often causes his mind to stray into memories that he had long forgotten or wished to forget, the tales were always too suspenseful for the Earl to give up.

Sebastian was sitting at the butler's office, managing finances of the household. When the clock struck ten, he knew it was time to put his master in bed. He quickly walked upstairs, and was upset again upon finding Ciel reading those horrid ghost stories that often bestowed insomnia upon his master's mind. Ciel closed the book with a thud, knowing that his butler was not happy, but chose not to acknowledge it with any sort of sarcastic reply as he so often did. Sebastian took notice of his master's low spirits that was not improved by any means by the visit of his fiancée, but sank lower too as the hours went on; what could be the cause of it? He kept pondering as he proceeded to tuck his master comfortably in, but at last, he could not help himself-

"Young master, what could be vexing you so?"

"It is nothing, merely my mind's trifle worries; if I told you of it, you would probably laugh at the mere humanity of it all."

Sebastian knew what his master meant to provoke, therefore he kept his silence and ceased the enquiry. Ciel on the other hand, was feeling drowsy due to the comfort offered by his bed, but fearing that should his mind begin to form those unwanted fantoms once the candle was out, he requested his butler to stay till he had fallen asleep. Sebastian obliged with all the warmth that a demon in disguise could possibly gave, and as a guardian, a father figure even, he tenderly caressed his master's silky hair, kissed him good night, and softly whispered a "happy birthday". Ciel's heart fluttered, his mind feeling all the assurances that he had been seeking all day, and he sweetly drifted into slumber, knowing that his guardian should always be with him till the one guarded should be vanquished.

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*If you read the manga, you will remeber towards the end of the third volume, those three, namely, Bard, Finny, and May-rin, prepared a cake for thier young master for his birthday, without knowing that Sebastian had already done so. When everyone was celebrating in the dinning room, Sebastian retreated to the kitchen, took out the cake and ate it himself - that was the famous scene when the sexy butler licked the chocolate off his own fingers asking "how can humans think this is delicious?"

*Enquire has the same meaning as inquire, but I thought I'd use enquire just to sound more British lol.

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**A/N: I hope you liked the little comfort that Sebastian had offered Ciel, although it was not entirely _sincere_... I will just keep it as that. **

**I made Elizabeth to be a less annoying character because I think she is not actually that bad, she is a good person, so I imagine when she grows up she will be maturer. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Extrication**

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**-Chapter III-**

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**O**ne week had passed since Ciel's birthday and his spirits were as low as ever. A month had passed and he still could not acquit himself of his own accusations; his guilt only augmented as the days flew by, consuming his heart and mind. He could not - dared not - defend himself. Therefore, the Earl was continuously solemn, he could no longer busy his mind with work nor reading; everytime when he shut his eyes, he could see his parents' face. Once or twice he had ventured down to the cellar where his parent's portrait was stored after it's removal from the great hall; he looked up at their loving expressions, and he wanted so desperately to be able to see them again, to feel his mother's soft touch, to hear his father's hearty laugh... When he remembered that his soul was forever damned, which made it impossible for him to ever reunite with his parents, the pang in his chest only worsened. At night, he lay awake in bed, thinking of his parents, imagining what they would say to him for not fulfilling his duty as their son. He had once dreamed of seeing his parents as if they never left him, but then his father turned to him in a sudden, his handsome face distorted by rage, accusing Ciel of not worthy of being a Phantomhive, 'I wish we never had a son like you.' When Ciel's heart could not pump any faster he would wake up from these nightmares and his butler would immediately come to comfort him; but a kiss could no longer put his mind to rest, however sincere Sebastian had meant it to be.

Sebastian, being the watchful guardian that he was, was not unconscious of his master's sufferings. Indeed, nobody could, even the other servants, who were usually clueless towards everything, were worried for their master. Sebastian tried all the remedies that he could thought of, but none showed any effect. Ciel would not even take one bite of his favorite dessert, and the other servants only watched with watering mouths as Sebastian threw away all those sweet delicacies each day. Sebastian soon felt more anxious about his master's mental condition and physical health (for such depression of the mind cannot do the body any good), he tried asking his master what was bothering him, but his answer remained the same, that 'he will only laugh at him for the mere humanity of it all'.

Sebastian felt all the injustice of this accusation; although he held most humans in contempt, he respected his master as one of the few who has a pureness that could not be corrupted - a rare exception of his kind - therefore, any thoughts procured from his mind could not be be 'mere'. However, Sebastian was a demon, he could not truly understand the complex emotions of humanity, and that was his one flaw; for what Ciel truly needed, was something only Sebastian could give, and something that Sebastian had not yet come to understand.

Sebastian was not unaffected by his master's despondence, his anxiousness to please his master had turned into a sort of desperation as Ciel's depression worsened. In short, Sebastian started to find himself beginning to care for Ciel; but his instincts told him that his care was only originating from the contract.

Sebastian begun to think that the young master ought to get out more frequently for fresh air; spending all day inside sulking in the library could do no one any good.

One night, when the air was less chilly than usual, Sebastian decided that it was suitable to take the young master out for a walk. When everyone else had gone to bed, Sebastian fetched his master's best fur coat and went upstairs again. Ciel was as usual lying awake in bed in a deep reflection, therefore he was surprised upon hearing his bedroom door clicked; he first thought of it being the ghosts of his parents, finally coming to haunt him, but was relieved to find his butler's silihouette instead. Ciel immediately felt how ironic that he should be relieved by a demon's shadow.  
"Young master, are you awake?" Sebastian already knew the answer.  
"What brings you to awake me this late at night?"  
"Young master, it is for your own sakes that I am here."  
"What are you doing with my fur coat?"  
"To put it on you of course."  
"For what?"  
"We are going out to the garden."  
"Sebastian," Ciel rubbed his temple in exhaustion, "I don't have patience for any of your clever schemes; just leave me be."  
Ignoring Ciel's order, Sebastian advanced towards the bed, taking Ciel's hand, kneeled down to look into his master's mismatched eyes, "Come, my lord, you shall find the night air more soothing than the confinement of your own bed; and I dare say, will free your heart of whatever that is troubling you." He smiled warmly at the boy, wishing that he would look at him.  
Sebastian's sudden change of manners took Ciel a little by surprise, therefore, before knowing what he was doing, Ciel accepted sebastian's invitation.

The fur coat felt heavy on his body, and Ciel felt like as if the imaginary chain that he had been dragging on these past month and a half had gotten heavier with the addition of the coat. He reluctantly followed Sebastian outside, thinking that he should very much regret this afterwards.

It was a full-moon night; Ciel couldn't help but wonder if the moon beam was beneficial towards his butler. The smell of grass and the aroma of roses filled his nostrils each time he breathed, it seemed to offer him some comfort.

Sebastian had been watching his master this whole time, and was please to see no resentment from Ciel.

"Young master never seemed to have time to appreciate the garden that Finny and I took so much time to cultivate."

To this statement, Ciel nodded silently. Sebastian wished Ciel would say something in response, but knew that he had to put in a littler more effort.

"Young master-" He was cut off by his master.  
"Sebastian,"  
"Yes, my lord?"  
"Are you going to devour my soul?"

Sebastian was surprised by the question, what could his master mean by that? Asking such a question in such a matter-of-factly tone.

"By what do you mean sir?"  
"You know exactly what I mean."  
"Pardon me sir, I really-" by this time, Ciel had turned to face his butler, looking at him with earnestness. Sebastian knew not how to continue; he had never felt such panic, for, if it's not panic that he felt, he didn't know what word he could use to describe this strange feeling; he felt compelled to reply, yet he did not know what to say. He knew the answer to this strange question, but for some reason or another, he did not know what to say! How could this be? Ciel - this human - could he be a human after all?

Still stupefied by Ciel's question, Sebastian attempted his best to come up with an answer without lying - but how could he? For there was only one true answer for this question; but he didn't, couldn't say it, not with those melacholy eyes staring at him with so much pain. Wretched, wretched heart! He could even feel it in his chest! Was he starting to turn into a human now? Plauged by emotions and pain! All these years, he kept denying himself, telling himself that it was impossible; or could it? Sebastian had never experienced such strong sentiments before, he knew not what they were called, but they made him felt angry at himself, pity for Ciel, so much pity that he wished he could tell Ciel: "No young master, all these years, I purposefully delay your revenge, tried my best to forget about the contract, just so you could be with me a little longer! So please! Forgive me for not fulfilling my duties, for my selfish interest in your soul had turned into an obsession that I cannot rid of!"

Still, Sebastian could not confess; it was too humiliating! What would Ciel say? He feared that he should be laughed at - how ridiculus it was that a powerful demon like himself should ever fear a human. He was afraid; afraid to confess his feelings, but Sebastian did not know what he was so afraid of, because the exact thing that he was afraid of was the thing he did not understand, the thing that would make his existence a paradox - a demon that loves, a demon that wants to be loved - how laughable!

Not caring why his butler was dumbfounded by his question, Ciel opened his mouth to speak again, ever so calm, so gently, as to made himself looked like the real demon in the situation,

"Sebastian, I am suffering; I need to revenge for my parents - it is my duty, a duty, as long as I live, I cannot forget. I need you to fulfill this with me, for me. It is our contract after all, isn't it? I know you desire my soul, but I don't know why are you taking so long; certainly I do not doubt your abilities, as you have proved to me time and again how capable you truly are, but please, I beseech you, end this contract soon, and take me! for I cannot stand one more living moment being tortured by this unbearable guilt!" Ciel, unable to support himself any longer due to the emotion coursing through his entire body, almost collapsed. Sebastian took hold of his arms, sat the fragile body on a nearby bench. He dared not look into those eyes, one bearing their contract, continuosly reminding him of the evil he truly was; one submerging in sadness, begging for death, for him to take his soul! Sebastian thought of how much this soul had suffered, and he could not help but feel a pang in his chest, the demon blamed himself for being the cause of his Ciel's sufferings; only if he would deliver the vengeance, and end it all as soon as he could - but he could not, he wanted the boy to live, as long as he could. How laughable this all is! A demon pitying a soul's suffering! Wasn't that the purpose of a demon, to cause sufferings? And now, this poor wretched demon is feeling sorry for his own evil doings; was that even possible that a demon should ever feel sorrow, repentence? What a good joke this would be to all noxious beasts in hell - the notorious Michaelis who had caused the Black Death himself, had now fallen head to toe for his dear little young master, why, shall we all call him Saint Michaelis now? Next thing you know, he's going to have a halo atop his lovesick head! Sebastian hated the thought of being the joke of his kind, but he couldn't deny his feelings. Could a demon love? Could it be true then? If angels could fall, can demons be saved? No! That is impossible!

"Sebastian..." Ciel's feeble voice brought Sebastian back from his deep reflection.

"I am afraid it is all my fault, bringing the young master out to the garden late at night doesn't seem to be a good idea after all." Sebastian said calmly, trying his best to conceal his thoughts.

"Sebastian, I am begging you; I am sick and tired of your pretense! Stop pretending to be a human! You are not!" Ciel violently grabbed the hand that was supporting him, tore away the white cotton glove, revealing the covenant of the contract. Sebastian lowered his head, feeling angry, angry at his master for not understanding. Still, he kept his silence. Ciel then tore away his eyepatch, letting the mark shine uglily in the dark. Sebastian stared at the mark he was once so proud of, but now he only felt ashamed of himself for ever having laid a hand on this soul. "Answer me damn it! Don't you remember your promise? Damn deceitful, wicked demon! I knew a contract with a demon would not end well, look what I've gotten myself into!" Ciel meant every word to sting, he rather wished Sebastian to tear his soul apart now - the revenge wouldn't matter if he were dead, because he wouldn't be tortured by the guilt anymore. Sebastian still avoided Ciel's heated gaze, he knew he deserved this, this was his punishment - he knew he would never have his master's affection as long as he lives. A demon who craves for love will never be loved; how damnable this all is! Ciel stared at the expressionless face, and he begun to regret the glares and reproach he had shot at his butler; he wished Sebastian would defend himself, or explain to him perhaps, of whatever reason it was that was keeping him from taking the soul he had professed so much desire for, but still, the demon did not utter a word.

When Ciel attempted to speak again, he felt a sharp pain in his chest, he recognized it as an asthma attack, his hand involuntarily went up to his chest and the only sound that came was his pants. Sebastian sensed the danger, therefore he picked up his master without second thought and rushed towards the mansion as fast as he could. His guilt only worsened as Ciel quietly called out his name in his arms.

As soon as Sebastian had settled him in his four poster bed, Ciel couldn't help but gave into the fatigue caused by his vigorous speech. His eyelids had gotten heavier and his breathing had returned to a even pace as he slowly drifted into slumber. Sebastian wanted to lean in and kiss his master, a task he had carried out so many times in the past with so much ease, but now, he could only thought of how the guilt should burn him the instant his lips touched his young master's tender skin! Therefore the demon only stayed and watched the tortured soul with longing, until the sun shined through the thick curtains, and all that the moon had witnessed was forgotten.

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no annotations this time...

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**A/N: Half of the chapter, the last half, which is, in my humble opinion, the best part of this chapter, got deleted when I was typing it! I was very frustrated needless to say... but I still stayed up and retyped it when it was still fresh in my memory, but I felt like it's still not the same. I am really sorry. Please let me know what you think of this chapter:)**

**Again, I am looking someone to beta for me, if you are interested, please PM me, I shall be very grateful!**


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